ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

And secondly, I want to apologize to everyone whose email I hadn't answered until today... I had thought that I got them all in the second week after Karen died, but I missed about half.

And thirdly, that reminds me of how much I appreciate the support that I have from the WWW... especially Three-Way Action.

It doesn't amaze me that so many people can come together in support of a friend... I've seen that a lot... but I've never before been the recipient before, and it's wonderful. I don't honestly know what I would have done without that support.

Although I must admit, going through those emails this morning has brought the tears with each letter....

But it's another step... and there always seems to be another step, until there are no more, I guess.

I got up at 08:30 this morning... slept sans cats last night, and I slept well!

I fixed bacon and eggs and coffee and toast and cleared off the table and sat and ate and read the paper... and then I got up, put the stuff away and washed the dishes.

Which reminds me... one of the chores that I need to do.... get rid of a bunch of dishes. Karen had about twenty-five plates... I can't see me ever needing more than two on a regular basis, with maybe another four stored away somewhere close.

Most of the plates she liked heated up in the microwave... not a feature that I find attractive.

And about fifty glasses... same deal, I'll keep maybe five of them out. Same with saucers and cups.

And the silverware... Karen liked heavy, sturdy stuff... I don't. We still have most of a cheap set of flatware that we got shortly after we were married, and those are the ones that I'll use.

And I love no-stick cookware... but Karen got a set of SS stuff last x-mas, or the one before, I guess... that'll have to go, and I'll buy some other coated stuff.

Karen didn't like the no-stick because she liked to use metal utensils with them, and the coatings would come off. And I didn't like the idea of the coating material ending up in my stomach, either.

I don't/won't cook that much anyway, but when I do, I'd rather do it with stuff that I like... and that is easy to clean up.

Actually, I think that I'll just go to wal-mart and get a set of melamine plates... they microwave well and they're light.

And I've really got to stop thinking of it as Karen's kitchen... and thinking of it as Doug's kitchen. Karen wasn't really sentimental about kitchen stuff, and I don't think that I am either, although I'm a lot more practical than she was about it.

Practical, as in, I think that I'll throw a lot of stuff away... or give it away.

O'yeah... seven sets of S&P shakers? And at least three more in boxes? I'll keep the tupperware ones and one nice grinder set....

Today's pic is of a T-shirt that Karen got in NO several years ago, and it became mine as soon as I saw it, although she wore it many times, claiming it was hers... I noticed today that my glasses were hanging exactly where the cats' sunglasses were, heh, so I couldn't resist the picture.

18:36...
Well, I haven't gotten anything accomplished today, nothing at all.

Well, yes I did... I paid the bills and did stuff that I had to write a real paper check for and put the checks in the envelopes and put stamps on them.

I found almost a whole sheet of $0.36 stamps, so I'm just putting two of those on each envelope.

I figgered if I waited to find the proper postage to make it come out right, I'd probably lose the stamps. And besides, I didn't know that I had them, so it's like found money... although I know that I had paid for them at some time in the past.

I have found myself talking to Karen like she was in the room with me, and oddly, it's kind of comforting. I miss having her to talk to, so I just talk to her anyway.

As long as I don't start doing that in public, I think that I'll be OK.

And I think that I'll watch a coupla DLed movies tonight and go to be early and get up early in the AM, just to get back on the right track for Tuesday....

Fuck cancer. Just fuck it.