ARCHIVES - 1996 to FOREVER

Weird night, last night. I kept waking up about every hour with dreams and a coupla nightmares. I was constantly lost and frequently under-dressed... either in my underwear or completely nekkid. And the last dream was of a pretty young girl telling me of the death of my best friend of twenty years ago... I need to call him, I haven't talked to him since Karen's diagnosis.

I don't know why, but I'm reluctant to tell people about my problems, even though I know that they won't be upset about it... I just hate to interrupt peoples' lives that way. I think that might be just weird, but possibly it's a way of inflicting kindness on the world?

I really think that my Asperger's syndrome has a lot to do with it, though....

So I need to go call him, and I think that I will.

20:20...
And I called him, and left a message, and he called back, and we will get together sometime very soon.

Karen had a pretty good day... I woke her up at 09:00 and gave her meds, and then she slept until about noonish, when Andy and Drew came over.

She wanted breakfast, so Reta and I fixed her pancakes and bacon and two eggs, and she ate most of it.

Then Kim and Tom, her BF, who I am beginning to really like, came over and they talked for quite a while. And then....

Karen decided that it was time to get her wishes on her final services down on paper. So she and Kim and I did that for the next hour or so.

We did have a little disagreement... Kim had noticed that there is a wall at a certain cemetery for memorials... people who aren't buried there or who have been cremated and don't want anything buried anywhere (like Karen).

I had also noticed this wall... it is beautifully situated in a very accessible location, perfect for reflection.

Unfortunately, it is topped by a big ol' granite cross.

And I want Karen and I to be memorialized in the same place, of course. And that will not be under any damned cross.

And Karen pretty much agrees with that... so we have to find a suitable location.

I had thought that a bench on the Shunga Trail, where we used to walk, would be perfect, there are quite a few memorial benches there, but there's room for many more; I really like that idea, but I haven't researched how to do that. I'm not really worried about the cost, but I am about the permanence of the memorial.

I should be able to research that on the web, I just haven't yet.

I will be going out to the funeral home on Monday, though, to pick up some brochures and talk to them, and they should be able to provide me with some clues.

Heh... Reta is reading The DeVinci Code and I think that it might be rattling her faith, and I am trying really hard to stay out of it, but I don't think that I can.

Fuck cancer. Just fuck it.